Elvis Movies

I watched five Elvis movies in a row today. Five. Elvis was the King, you know, but his movies were pretty bad. I'll still watch them because watching bad Elvis movies beats working, but they were pretty bad. They were even worse on the new TV because I could see them better. The backdrops were terrible in GI Blues. But Ann-Margaret did look pretty friggin' hot in Viva Las Vegas.

Elvis was actually quite good in Jailhouse Rock. Very natural. It's probably his best film. The songs are good too, unlike a lot of the lame ones that came later like Slicin' Sand in Blue Hawaii.

Elvis was pretty darn cool before the army got him. It's in the army he discovered amphetamines to stay awake and they ruined him. Near the end of his life he'd get so high he'd stay in bed for days just watching TV and eating eskimo pies and cheeseburgers... Actually that's kinda close to what I do.

I saw Elvis live in 1977. He would only do one more appearance before he died on a toilet a few months later at the age of 42. I was only eleven but remember the concert vividly. Elvis looked awful. Sure, he was overweight, but he was also blue. It didn't matter though, it was still Elvis. He rushed through his hits, forgot the lyrics to the songs, told corny jokes, slurred his words, but none of that mattered... He was Elvis. The girls screamed, the flashbulbs flashed, and the air was magnetic.

Anyway Elvis' drug addiction is a cautionary tale and the reason why at the crossroads of my life I chose to be a bill collector instead of a rock star.