Wednesday, July 11, 2007

"Close The Bedroom Door"

I love my wife. I'm crazy about her. I adore her. But she does drive me crazy. I had a meeting with some people here at the house the other day and the conversation went something like this:

WIFE: Before they get here, vacuum, straighten up, put the dishes away, set out a guest towel, and close the bedroom door.

ME: Close the bedroom door? Why do you want me to close the bedroom door?

WIFE: Because the pillow cases don't match the bedspread.

I crane me neck to look in the bedroom.

WIFE: See?

ME: No, I don't see. The pillow cases are blue and the bedspread's kind of brown and pink.

WIFE: Which doesn't match.

ME: It looks like it matches to me.

WIFE: Do you think I've forgotten how you dressed when we first met? I didn't know if you were color blind, retarded, or a used car salesman.

ME: We're gonna have all these people here -- Don't you think they're gonna wonder why the door's shut.

WIFE: So, what?

ME: Well, think about it: This is a small house. Through the process of elimination they're gonna know that's the bedroom and they're gonna wonder what we're hiding. And whatever they imagine we're hiding can't be worse than mismatched pillow cases. They're gonna see trapezes and gerbils and a woman chained to the wall with a red ball strapped in her mouth.

WIFE: What kind of people are you having over?
I shut the door.


Blogger Gina said...

And that, my friend, is why men need women. Sounds like you've got a great wife!

5:59 AM  

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